Even if nothing needs to be changed, it’s good to go back over everything just to make sure.
If you are not in a new dynamic, you should have a renegotiation period at least once a year. This is the time when you are learning each other and adjusting to how you do power exchange together. When a dynamic is new, negotiations should be revisited at least every 90 days for the first six months. Renegotiations should happen for several reasons. Renegotiations are going back and looking over/making needed changes to your agreement that you have previously consented to with your partner. They are essential because in the BDSM lifestyle, as people learn, experience, and understand more, they evolve, which can cause their kinks and limits to change. Renegotiations are generally for dynamics unless you have an ongoing agreement with a play partner.
It does not have to be rushed, and it does not have to be covered in one conversation. It can happen very casually over a length of time. I think it’s important to note that negotiations do not have to happen in one sit-down session. They make sure informed consent is given and understood, and they make sure everyone involved is on the same page. Can you play with someone without negotiating? Yes. While most checklists are geared towards submissives, I personally think it’s an excellent idea for Dominants to fill one out as well for their partner. A BDSM Checklist (also known as submissive checklist) is an extensive list of kinks, activities, limits, and BDSM equipment that you can go through and select what you want to experience, what you might be willing to experience, or what you do not want to experience at all. You can have different types of dynamics, but they are all some type of Dom/sub relationship.Ī BDSM checklist can help tremendously when negotiating. Let’s define them.Ī scene is another word for a period of play, sexual or asexual.Ī dynamic means a power exchange relationship. Scene, dynamic, and checklist are words that are commonly used in BDSM or Kink. Scene negotiations are negotiations done prior to a play scene and are usually done with a play partner.ĭynamic negotiations are negotiations done prior to agreeing to commit to a power exchange relationship. There are two basic types of negotiations: Scene negotiations and Dynamic negotiations. This is when you set what will and will not happen with your partner. They are important because this is when you give consent, when you set your boundaries, and when you ask questions.
Negotiations are the period of discussion where you cover your likes, wants, needs, expectations, and limits before you play or begin a dynamic. Putting effort into sharing your opinions and understanding your partner’s opinions as well, will only make everything that much more enjoyable and safe.
Negotiations are so important in BDSM when it comes to setting up a play scene or a power exchange relationship with your partner.